Explaining to Children Mediation Guide
In most cases, when parents are going through separation, they do not like talking to their children on what is going on in the family. They do this as they try to protect their children and prevent upsetting them. On the other hand, there are some parents that have a lot in common with the children. Thus, it becomes very challenging to strike a balance. However, family mediation is an effective process that can assist you know how and what to tell the children.
Below are tips about what children would like to know.
At a very young age, it is possible for your children to realize that there is something that is not normal and if one parent goes away from home without giving any form of explanation, children can suffer from trauma. If there has been no information, they get confused and feel powerless on what is happening in their home. It is hard to tell them what is happening without blaming the other partner, but it is good to help them know what happening. By doing this, you also motivate them to know that it is not wrong to talk on what is happening and ask any questions they may have.
It is necessary for children to know that it is not their mistake that their parents had to separate. Most children develop this feeling and they may react in ways to try to make the other parent to come back.
It can be confusing to tell the children that their parents no longer love each other. This is because they may think that one of the parents may also stop loving them too. They develop such feelings because they may not be aware of the difference that exists between relationship that exists between child and parent and the one between adult parents. At this stage both parents must give assurance to the children that they will love them forever.
Talking to the children about what is happening makes them be open to talk about their feelings and ask any question they may have. If they feel that they are being given attention, they will be able to adapt to the situation fast.
Some of the things that children should not know and would find hard to here include:
- How bad one of the parent is.
- Hurtful or blaming language about one parent or other family member.
- Given messages or commnication they should take to the other parent.
- What solicitors or the court say about their parents.
You can fall into this trap if you feel so much hurt, but you need to imagine how you would feel if this comes from your children. It is good to note that children come up with their own judgment regarding their parent behaviors as they grow. If you would like offload what you may have, talk to a professional or another adult, but not your children.
Children should know that their parents are in control even if they are living separately. There can be different rules in both houses as long as there is no parent undermining the other one or those that have negative effects to the well being and health of the child.
If you have issues with your ex-partner about children please contact us today.